“I’m not entirely sure what it was..” I tell myself fully knowing that that’s a lie. I know exactly why. I know why I allowed you to stay past your expiration, why I let you warm my bed and heart a little longer.
The addiction. The anticipation.
The need. The rush. The lust.
The way you would kiss every inch of my body as I laid there blissfully aware that that moment wouldn’t last forever, but I closed my eyes and tried to savor as much as possible.
Every lick. Breath. Gasp. Touch.
Aware when I would get overly excited to spend time with you, waiting for my phone to vibrate, myself vibrating with anticipation, from need. Aware because I always knew it wouldn’t last.
Like teenagers. Sneaking kisses, touches, soft words, and flirty looks across the table. Happy.
Intimate texts of need for each other to each other.
Just you and me.
I knew it wouldn’t last.
It hurt me when we parted, but I knew it was inevitable.
We were never meant to last, but your chapter was an incredible one.
You made me feel things.
I felt like a woman, desired.
Like a sin, but the good kind.
Thank you for allowing me to see that intimacy can be a beautiful experience. That being vulnerable at 3 in the morning (drunk) and talking about our fears and past traumas is important.
With you, I was able to see how much I’ve matured; I saw it best as I walked away.
I always knew it wasn’t meant to be, but I will always cherish your chapter.
Gabriela A Tejada
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