It’s pretty interesting how my emotions tend to work, at least for me. Either I feel a lot or nothing at all. I can be okay one moment, and something can set me off, and I sometimes become a totally different person. It was a lot worse when younger, the older and more I’ve gotten to learn myself, the better I am at understanding, regulating, and letting go.
Recently, I learned a very important lesson (with the help of those around me who love and support me); I learned the importance of Silence.
The Last Word.
I always needed it. I felt like I wasn’t complete without having it. I won’t say that I was an argumentative person, definitely not an angry person, but when taken to one extreme, I always needed to have the last word. I needed to have it to feel, inside, like I had nothing left and everything was out in the open. But why continue to waste my energy trying to make someone understand my point when obviously it didn’t work when I tried communicating like an adult.
The frustrations of not being understood, not being listened to, of trying to communicate with the broken and emotionally illiterate. When dealing with people like this, or just if ever in a situation where I’ve tried objectively and am still not being heard, I now simply walk away.
Most poke and hope for a reaction, others jab out of frustration, out of not getting what they thought they could from you, so now we respond with silence.
Walking away allows you back your power, allows you to be and decide, and just walk away with dignity.
This week I walked away, with the help of those close to me, and I’m incredibly proud.
Thank you, now stranger. You taught me an important lesson; you taught me the importance of saving my energy for those who actually matter and letting unnecessary people go.
Gabriela A Tejada
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