I’m scared.

This scares me.

My ability to so easily give all of me so quickly and freely after years of torturous growth

After painful rivers of bloodshed

scar me

Scare me.

How can you ever trust when you don’t know the meaning of

or the sound of

the words

Trust me

I’m scared that my mangled heart can’t take more

Can’t repair and repeat

because it’s been in constant reconstruction and reducing

creating walls and barriers all of which I destroyed myself for you

No struggle

I’m scared.

I’m scared because I see what I want and need but my lack of self-esteem and self-worth during bonding moments make me deaf to your reassuring words

and powerful actions.

I’m scared I tell you

Don’t be

Your arms tell me as your heart guides me.

I love you.

 

Gabriela A Tejada

 

 

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